Geeks are a totally separate human breed or sub-species totally apart from the larger socially oriented "herd". They will never change.
Geeks possess a single skill that the herd at large does not: the ability to function in certain circumstances without emotion, i.e., to perform tasks that have no social function what-so-ever - particularly abstract functions like mathematics, computer hacking, doing physics. A true geek can turn off social emotion and shut off input from the outside world in order to perform a task.
Typically these tasks can take a long time to the other trappings of social function such as grooming, dress, hygiene, social etiquette, and so on may go out the window - for some or all time.
Geeks also have "focus" - the ability to tune out other inputs in order to work on a problem. This tuning out is often perceived as some form rudeness by "herd" members.
Geeks are often loners - caring little for the social company of others - though geeks can also form their own societal constructs with other geeks - but the rules of etiquette are much simpler and more relaxed than normal society.
Geek social function tends to be inclusive rather than exclusive. Typically geeks get together based on some common technical or abstract interest - with new geeks that have just discovered the interest being "helped into the fold" by those with more experience.
Geeks tend to fail at social functions because the abstract models geeks use to develop understanding about the world don't work. "Why does Suzy like that dirtbag Joe? He get's into trouble all the time and treats her like shit....?" It makes no logical sense - what does she get from the relationship save a beating?
Geeks tend to accept arguments based solely on absolute truths and logical reasoning, i.e., they think in terms of things like a logical proof, A -> B -> C. If B is BS then C cannot be implied from A. This notion has little value in the herd - if A looks better than B, then B looses.
Geeks are relatively few in number compared to the herd.
The "herd", on the other hand, is run by emotion: do I look good, do I feel good, how do you feel about me, how do you like my clothes, look at my X - isn't it cool. They tend to follow social fads in dress, etiquette, hygiene, and so on. They are concerned about relative social stature: "Oh look honey, the Jones just bought a pool (new car, etc.), I think we should have one too."
The herd is good at social queues - at spotting them, at taking offense to them, at nattering over them off-line.
Things like cell phones boost the connectivity (and therefore the strength) of the herd because they allow instant social access to other members - real-time updates about social issues and stature. (Kind of ironic considering that today's smart phones with direct Facebook access are purely the construction of geeks.)
Since I am not a herd member I cannot say much more than this...
Since the herd outnumbers the geeks by a large factor, probably 1 in 10 or there-abouts, most social discussion is queued based on being "in the herd".
For example, someone will say, "Gee, you sure are quiet? Is something wrong?" or "You need to try harder to be pleasant to so and so next time otherwise you'll make them feel bad" or "Didn't you see so-and-so was really upset?" These comments are perceived as a well-meaning social etiquette skill-booster for those that are less socially able than typical herd members and are genuinely provided as "good faith" assistance to those perceived to be in need.
From the geeks perspective, of course, its like being told you are too fat or too old or too stupid (just like on one ever thinks its wrong to say "Oh look! You so thin!").
Geeks, on the other hand, never bother to tell a herd member "Oh, you need to study your statistics more so next time you don't make such a scientifically ignorant comment."
What would be the point?
Geeks in general also have a clear-cut hierarchy of understanding and respect for those with more knowledge and/or ability than they do. Geeks take social criticism very hard so speaking up as if you are knowledgeable when you are not makes you look stupid - the cardinal sin of geekdom. But, unlike the herd, a geek can go back to his "focus" and become more knowledgeable through study - gaining understanding and/or knowledge.
Compare this to herd social situations. If you make a socially inept comment its not like you can go home and study, what, some movie or cartoon or book, to become more socially skilled? (No, the basic geek abstractions for relationships are based on logic and not on "cool" - so study gets you no where.)
Geeks tend to take lesser-skilled geeks "under their wing" either as an apprentice or student in order to educate them and advance their talent. Unlike the herd its a badge of honor to identify a talented future geek and to lunch him on a high-velocity geek trajectory - even if it means that he is, in the end, more talented than you. This is very unlike social herd situations where there is always competition to be the "coolest" and helping others to be more "cool" than you is a social gaffe.
Then there is cross-breeding between the herd and geeks.
This yields what I will call "scientists". "Scientists" have a foot in both worlds - they can simultaneously understand the geek rules and the herd rules. While they may not be true geeks themselves they typically share some geek attributes - the ability to focus, the ability to use logic or abstraction, the ability to separate from the herd without social withdrawal.
Geeks tend to live in the purely abstract worlds: mathematics, mathematical physics, computer science, things that don't have a real, physical presence and tend to shun hands-on activities beyond what's absolutely necessary,
"Scientists", on the other hand, can mix these geek abstractions into the real world and into the herd. For example, applying mathematical logic to the study of biology and genetics, using scientific methods and mathematics to study the movement of societies and peoples, etc.
"Scientists" also can translate between the two worlds - converting geek abstractions into forms palatable for consumption by the herd as well as converting herd social requirements into geeks forms.
Typical pairing is between like kinds in society, with scientists bridging the gap between the two cultures. Geeks can marry other geeks or scientists, but geeks paired with herd members is not a good mix. Herd members can marry other herd members or scientists, but not geeks.
Why? Because geeks see little value in pure "social display" - better shoes, better hair, that sort of thing. Sure, a geek can go down to the local style salon and get made up into someone that looks cool - but their demeanor and/or speech would give them away - so what's the point. Plus it would take time away from that nasty OS threading/mutex locking bug their working on.
I really don't know, beyond my description here, how to characterize the dichotomy. I am sure there are biological reasons, or intelligence reasons, or social reasons for things being as they are - but I do not understand them.
To me it seems like the herd is making geekdom into an illness - there is something wrong with those who do not like social situations. But that's no different than their being something wrong with those ignorant of basic calculus.
I guess I'll have to give it more thought...
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