Gene Simmons and Anthropological Mom (Part II)

So enough about Gene...

The really fascinating part is how Shannon stuck out the twenty eight years and, all along, was really just an anthropological mom. 

Now I don't know either of these people (Gene or Shannon) so I can only speak about what I see on the program...

Shannon, as a mother, seems to be truly devoted to her children and obviously did her best despite a whole raft of difficult issues to raise them correctly.

One the difficult issues side there was Gene's infidelity.  Here, most interestingly were the two conversations each kid had with Gene during the time when Shannon had moved out of the house.

"There are no sides in a family," they said.  "But we support mom."

Obviously these children were not impressed with the great Gene Simmons, KISS, his "stuff, his "money" or any of the rest of it.  They felt they were obligated to do what was they saw as right regardless of how difficult it might be.  (I wonder how many other "rich LA kids" see things this way...?)

These sorts of situations are difficult enough, but imagine being a twenty-something, having to hold the discussion on the worldwide video, and having to do it with your rich and powerful dad.

Now numerous times its pointed out that Gene believes in "always telling the truth."  I think that while Gene is doing this the kids are also seeing the hypocrisy of Gene's philandering.  So I think Gene's hypocrisy is a second serious issue for Shannon to deal with with regard to her children.

I really couldn't say how she dealt with this directly - but she seemed to do a good job.  The kids obviously love their dad, but not everything he does.

Now these people are not poor (Simmons net worth is estimated at $300 million USD).

But you see very little trappings of "spoiled rich kids" nor do you see, beyond what I suppose are basic necessities of high-end LA celebrity living, flaunting of riches.  Certainly they have a cushy life but what you don't see is anyone lording it over others, ridiculing those with less and so on.

It also seems pretty obvious from the family videos that she had good control over the whole family process and raised the kids in a fairly mid-western sort of environment.  No "spoiled rich kids" stuff is obvious.  No drugs and alcohol. Their house looks fairly ordinary (the previous one).  They do fairly normal things.  Mom spends time with here kids...

Imagine how difficult this must have been with Gene as a partner.

And in the end what did Shannon really want all along? 

A husband... A real, old fashioned one.  Not an "open marriage."  Not a thirty year string of one-night stands.  Just a plain old man she could call her own.

As you watch these episodes you see Gene go through a complete transformation.

(Yes I know its a TV show and I know that its not all truly "reality."  However, there seem to be enough cues available to those who have been down a transformational road to tell you something significant has happened.)

From someone who is living in a "continuous bachelor party" to a grown up "man."

What this says is that, ultimately, for the love of Shannon, he changed himself.  She never (at least on the show) beat him up directly but instead made it clear that her love for him was what was at stake.  He could take it or leave it and it was up to him.

The sign of a truly old fashioned woman.

She didn't chase after or throw herself at him.  She expects certain things from him (some left unsaid in the show but more than likely him living up to previous promises about fidelity and love).

He needed (and still needs) to live up to whatever expectations they set between them are. 

But in the end it is him who must please her.

From watching the show on and off over the last several years its really hard to accept that the most recent outcome was somehow staged or planned.  You can tell by examining their body language - there's a dramatic change between a year ago and today.

Personally I think that what happened was unexpected and that, to some degree, the show catalyzed the inevitable fall out over Gene philandering.  At first the show was probably kind of "fun" and not serious.  But as time when on the presence of the film crew probably became less invasive and the pressure of what was going on came more to the surface.  (The popularity of the show causing Gene to be tracked in more detail at all hours of the day and night, for example.)

I was never a fan of KISS.  They were around when I was in high school and still are to this day.

But Gene has made a living out of being the "Hugh Hefner" of the rock world - rock'n'roll, party, womanizing, etc.

I imagine that this change for him is on the one hand easy - because of his love for Shannon - and difficult because it sort of invalidates his prior forty years of being a "bad boy."

What gives me hope is the "Boot Camp" and "Israel" episodes.  Here its obvious that Gene is really trying to work through various personal issues - particularly with his family and his father.  Without reflecting on and changing how he views these issues I doubt he would be able to change his lifestyle.

But making the effort to change how he feels about such important personal matters shows the way to changing how he thinks about women, Shannon and his daughter.

Ultimately the sharpest barb thrown, and perhaps the most effective, is the point where someone asks  "how many nineteen year olds has he slept with?"  (His daughter is nineteen.)

That's a really touch nut to swallow regardless of who you are.

Will Gene give up his former lifestyle...?

He must in order to keep Shannon. 

Shannon, on the other hand, seems happy to have finally gotten what I think she probably always wanted: a husband.  Gene was always, to a point, an excellent father figure for his children - so Shannon mostly, I think, got what she wanted there.

There will be future issues with the kids regarding Gene's past behavior - but I would think they can be resolved over time.

Ultimately this is a story about how "Anthropological Mom" triumphs over "The Demon."

But the jury will be out for some time...

Gene Simmons and Anthropological Mom (Part I)

For the last few weeks Mrs. Wolf has become fascinated with "Gene Simmons Family Jewels."

Normally the types of things on the show were not here sort of thing.  But recently there has been a series of episodes related to his relationship with Shannon Tweed (his formerly live-in girl friend).

The series starts when Simmons daughter sends a picture to Shannon of Gene out-on-the-town with a couple of very young girls.  Later Gene comes home and is confronted by Shannon over the pictures and his lack of fidelity for the last twenty-some years.

At first Gene tries to smooth it over but eventually the issue of "trust" becomes so strong that Shannon moves out to a hotel for a period of time.  As a result Gene begins counseling and over a period of time comes to realize that he in fact loves Shannon more than anything else.  Finally he asks her to marry him (after living with her "happily unmarried for twenty eight years).  The final episodes of this series aired last night and Gene marries Shannon.

This whole series (from the cheating episode through the wedding) have caused much discussion in the Wolf household at many levels.

For one, much of the back story is very familiar to us.

Gene (birth name Chiam Weitz) was born in Haifa, Israel and moved to the New York City in the 1950's.  In the 1970's we had good friends Sam and Alice.  Sam was also born in Israel during the same time frame and migrated to NYC in the 1970's.  Sam looked a lot like Gene, possessed a number of the same mannerism and attitudes, and all-around was basically a pretty decent clone of Simmons (based on Simmons pictures from the early 1980's).  His wife however, a Brooklyn girl, was not like Shannon in anyway.

Sam had fought in the '67 war as a 16 year old soldier.  This gave him a similar sort of bravado as Simmons.  We might be riding on the parkway in Queens with Sam and his wife and, while he was talking, we drove past our exit.  Sam had no problem stopping in the middle of the road, backing up a few hundred yards, and making the proper exit.

We all decided that Sam must have learned to drive in the '67 war.

At his core Sam was like Gene in terms of achieving.  I think this had something to do with being raised in Israel during its first few decades as a country.  There was sort of a cowboy-type, wild west atmosphere that fed a young boy or man's bravado.  Everyone started out poor after the war, everyone wanted to come to the US, everyone wanted to show they could succeed here.

Like Simmons Sam was a big supporter of America and the US military (particularly as the US and military supported Israel).  At the time the only destination for Jews leaving Soviet-block countries.  As immigrants I guess he felt a strong pull - his parents (like Simmons mother) had also immigrated.

Sam was also like Gene in working things to his advantage whether at work or play.  We used to do a lot of camping with Sam and Alice in "the South."  Often several families would gather in Virginia or North Carolina for a long weekend.

Sam would always bring some sort of fireworks.  Of course all the campgrounds where strictly no-fireworks sorts of places.  But that didn't stop Sam.  I recall one time he launched some sort of spinning rocket which landed on a nearby camper's awning.  It burned a hole though it.  Sam, ever the salesman and schmoozer, ran over to retrieve the rocket and "smooth things overs."  We could hear his harsh Israeli/New York accent rasping against the slow southern drawl of the nearby campers.  Somehow he escaped without harm and with the rocket.

The Simmons/Tweed children are roughly the same ages as our (collective) friends - a bit young but only by a few years.

So from our perspective whenever we see Simmons on TV with think of Sam.  Sam has been lost to time; now divorced from Alice.  Mrs. Wolf still talks with Alice, how now lives in Florida.

At the same time Shannon, a mid-western girl from Saskatoon Canada, is surprisingly very much like us in many ways.  Both Mrs. Wolf and I are from the mid-west.  We moved to New York City in 1977.  It was like moving to another country or world, even.  At the time we had two children, Sam and Alice had one.  We met at Mr. Casual's apartment one Thanksgiving in about 1978 or '79.  We were neighbors of Mr. Casual and his wife (they also had a daughter) and they introduced us to Sam and Alice.

Our mid-western values and ways were foreign to NYC.  Though our friends, including the Casual's and Sam and Alice, were all from outside of NYC for the most part we all saw things similarly, and we all disliked NYC.  By 1981 we all left.  By then Sam and Alice had another child as did Mrs. Wolf - in fact they were pregnant together during early '81.  I remember them waddling around the streets of Brooklyn and Levittown together.

The Casual's moved away to Long Island and then Florida.  Sam and Alice to California and then Virginia.  Mrs. Wolf and I ended up in Pennsylvania.

What always strikes me from the Gene Simmons show is the dichotomy of the mid-western Shannon and the Israeli Gene.  Mrs. Wolf and Sam always interacted in the same way.

A few years back we visited Alice in Florida.  She had home movies (Super 8) from our time together some thirty years before.  The footage, the sounds, the activities, all speak of the same age as the early Shannon/Simmons footage you see on the show.  Obviously we were not at the Playboy mansion, but none the less there is still that same vintage feeling.

Over the years we have kept in touch with our good friends.  Facebook today makes this easy and we crossed paths here and there.  But thirty years is a long time.  Alice now lives alone.

Unlike Shannon/Simmons we have been married for longer than their twenty eight years together and so our perspective is different.  Mrs. Wolf would have none of this "living together" business either so, like Simmons, I had to grow up and be a man just like Gene - in 1977.

We laugh when watching the show commenting how Sam and Gene were probably neighbors or cousins in Haifa.  It brings back a lot of these old memories.

(to be continued)

Link to the Anthropological Mom series.