Serenity and Wisdom

While there is certainly a lot of grim economic news out these days that doesn't mean you should be sitting down and doing nothing.

My guess is that while you are reading this someone somewhere is building the next "big thing" - the next boom product or industry.

Down times such as these often leave people depressed - and rightly so.  But your future depends on what you do with that "depression."

If your industry, as mine, is being squeezed, it may be time to figure out how to apply your skills somewhere else.  While not always easy its better than sitting around and doing nothing.

All that said the bottom line is that your future and mine is all about expectations.

If you set your own expectations at the right level then you will be successful in meeting them.  Meet them too quickly, then set them hire.  Can't meet them, then set them lower.  But don't sit around and do nothing.

I started to think about this a while back when someone was talking to me about going to their "happy place."

"Happy place?" I said.

That's where you go when things aren't going well - some kind of imagined nirvana where you feel good.

"Gosh," I said, "I always feel good.  I guess I'm always in my happy place."

Long ago I had four small children.  And though I had a good job and a lovely spouse things certainly never went exactly the way I wanted them to go.

Fortunately for me I early on discovered the "Serenity Prayer" (it has lots of other names as well, and a lot of variations) which goes something like this:

"God grant me the wisdom (serenity, ...) to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to tell the two apart."

So that seems pretty simple to say - but its not so simple to master.  However, if you want happiness you'd better get this figured out.

But what does this have to do with "happy places."

A lot actually.

You are not going to be happy if you're always longing for the greener grass across the fence so, rather than pining for that grass, learn to love the grass you have.  Don't have grass?  Grow some.  Don't know how, learn.  Buy the property next door if that's what you really want.

Another thing you need to do is examine the "why" it is that you want something.

With four kids there was always "do I need it?"  What does it add to our lives?  If the answer was "nothing" or "not much" or "it will make my life hell" then I chose not to do it.

What all this says is that you can learn to love your life as it is.

Then you'd always be happy.

Instead of saying "I don't like this..." find joy in changing "this" to "that."

Life is like a battleship - its not going to turn on a dime.  And short of a direct hit with a missile or torpedo the ship is going to steam along slowly and steadily on whatever course its set on.  So if you need a change you'd better start planning ahead and making small adjustments today so that you can turn at some point in the future.

"What if I don't like where its going..." you ask.

Well there's a Berenstain Bear's story (you learn things even while reading to your child) that that goes something like this:

The little boy and Grandpa are out in the woods and they come upon a old wagon stuck axle deep in the middle of a big, muddy pond.

"Wow" says the boy, "look at that.  Do you think we can get it out of there?"

Grandpa says "It would take a lot of work."

"Oh," says the boy, "how do you know?"

"Because it took a lot of work to get it in there in the first place," says Grandpa.

(For those that are slow the point being that Grandpa worked hard at screwing up to get the wagon so stuck in the first place.  He has a realistic perception of what its going to take to get things right again.)

If your life is a mess remember this little story.  How long have you been screwing up?  How much work have you put into making your life a mess?  No doubt it will take at least as much work to fix it as it did to screw it up initially.

Your life today is the life you have made for yourself - learn to love it because, after all, you set it up this way.

Make today's life your "happy place."

Now, need to make it better and even happier?

Then use the little stories and prayers above as a guide and enjoy making it better.

If you're depressed about your situation, perhaps, as I have written here before, your depression is telling you something.  Try something different next time.  (Insanity is doing the same thing over and over without a different result.)