Class 5 Gelatinous Mass

Kukla, Fran and Ollie

As a dog owner (with four in the house) I can say that we have a lot of experience with what I will call "Class 5 Gelatinous Masses".  I will not go into too many details here but let's just say that these can come from either end when you least expect it and, when they do, its a big cleanup problem.   While our little "R2" is not much in the way of a problem the larger dogs (up to the 120 pound "Kylie") can really generate a difficult to clean-up mess.

(Wait - who ate that nice sun-dried mole from the driveway!  Oh oh - there it is on the kitchen floor after someone was hiding it in their stomach all day...)
Old Mugs, who I have written about here before, was bad about producing lesser class masses when we first got him - but due to improvements in diet and health he is no longer a problem - though I learned a lot about cleanup with him.

Realistically I would not have expected anyone to be interested in solving the associated cleanup problems with a "Class 5" incident.  However with SWITL there appears to be light at the end of the tunnel:



The most interesting thing is that it pick up that kind of mess and put it down somewhere else undisturbed.

(Imagine the instructional value of wisking that ugly food mess right off your child's plate from dinner, placing it in a container for overnight safe keeping in the fridge, and then being able to replace the mess right back on the plate exactly as it was in the morning...  without worries that dogs or others will intervene in the mean time.)

Now apparently there are a lot of other problems in the world which are "similar" - which is surprising.

I myself have invented numerous disposable tools to handle these sorts of jobs.  For example, cutting a paper plate in half so that it leaves a nice sharp edge is one good approach.  You can use the two halves to scoop up a most of a Class 5 fairly easily without having to pick it up, shall we say, manually.

I have also invented what I will call a "sh*t puppet".  This harkens back to the days of "Kukla, Fran and Ollie" and the original "Sheri Lewis" Lamb Chop.  Basically I use a long, thin plastic newspaper bag - the kind they use to keep your newspaper dry from the rain, as well, a sort of "hand puppet".

The convenient shape allows one to slip it over their hand and pick up very large semi-sold gelatinous masses without getting one's hands dirty.

One merely needs to be careful not to select a bag with a hole in it.

At any rate I am not sure what technology is involved with the SWITL video but I would assume there is some sort of magic associated with the surface of the "tongue" that shoots out.  I guess something with it and the shape of how it moves that allows it to pick things up undisturbed.

While I cannot see a big market in restaurants for this it might be handy for those with dogs, cat, children or other pets what like to make ugly messes.